Thursday, February 22, 2018

Am I a Writer, Jenkins?

I've never been published before. But I have written... a lot. A. Lot. I've been writing since I was 10. I was creating fan fiction before I even knew what fan fiction was, because the internet wasn't around to tell me. I have old spiral notebooks with handwritten stories in them because only rich kids had computers in their homes. I've written poems for contests at school, and short stories and long stories and stories that have been read on the radio.

But I've never been published. I've never worked as a writer anywhere. I've only ever written for fun. And now I'm trying to publish some of the fun stuff that I've written.

Am I a writer?

Am I really one? I don't know. I don't feel like one. I feel like a poseur every time I say I am one. Despite looking at the 250+ page manuscript sitting in front of me. Despite my favorite author telling me "Yes, you write. You are a writer. You have a completed manuscript. You are a writer." I feel like I don't deserve to carry that mantle because I've only ever written for my own enjoyment and never for work.

Maybe I'll feel better once I get the cover art done. Or maybe once I actually have it published. Or after I sell a copy or two.

Or maybe just never.

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