Thursday, December 28, 2017

Jenkins, The Sky is Falling!

Actually, it's just the ceiling.


This year will be known as the Christmas where the ceiling fell down.


It was 7ish AM today when there was a *WHUMP* not a crash. Not a thud. A whump. It was loud, but also muffled. My first thought was that one of the kids fell out of their bed. The lack of confused crying directly after proved that was not the case. The husband person got up, went to investigate, and came back with the following bad omen: "You need to get up." then he added the even worse omen: "Promise you won't freak out."

I went downstairs and found what made the noise

70lbs of lathe and plaster from our 100 year old ceiling had fallen. Now, I now what you're thinking, water damage. Some kind of pipe leaked. OMG call the Mario Bros! Well, the joke's on you. First of all, the Mario Bros. aren't plumbers anymore. Also, the plaster was dry as a bone. .....also, also the pipes are on the other side of the house.

Yeah, it just...fell.

So. What next?

Well, if you're Ben, you call your super handy BFF, tear the rest of the ceiling down, and prepare to put in a new one.

Currently, the kids are at their grandparents' house for the night--it's dusty, cold, the husband and I are waiting for the house to heat back up to a comfortable temperature (I believe in you, you super old furnace, you can do it!), and we're watching Bob's Burgers in a room with no ceiling. 

It's a good time, but at least the floor is clean.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Happy Holidays, Jenkins

Um, excuse me, we don't say happy holidays because this is America... and nobody is happy.

Especially during the holidays, it seems.

I should know. I'm one of those people.

I don't like Christmas, and it's not just because I'm a Halloween person (but seriously, Halloween is the best). Christmas is just too damn big. My family is pretty large which results in no less than 3 separate holiday gatherings usually in the course of 2-3 days... that's just my side. My husband's family has their gathering every Christmas we're up to 4. We can usually swing 3 of these gatherings. My in-law's, My Mom's side (featuring an elaborate assortment of aunts, uncles, and cousins), and Christmas day at my parents' house.

It's a lot. It's a lot and it's tiring and no matter how many times we're told, 'oh just show up any time after lunch.' as soon as 12:01 hits we're getting texts asking us where we are.

And yes, we generally have a good time and, of course, the food is always stellar. But it's not my kind of thing. Which is why I'm glad we had Christmas Sausage Fest this year.

It's not what you're thinking.

Earlier this year one of our friends shot a couple of deer that he wanted to grind and turn into summer sausage. We offered up our kitchen, invited some more friends over, ordered pizza, put on some Muppets and MST3K, and had a party.

It's no secret that when my husband and his buddy, Jason, get together shenanigans are bound to happen. And happen, they did. We had an impromptu gift exchange. I got some sweet Dr. Who cocktail tumblers and some money toward publication costs. We ordered pizza (because, holy shit, I can't eat any more turkey), made bad jokes, and just had fun.


Despite the lack of cousins, the kids still had a blast. They played with the gifts they got, ate pizza, and even helped make sausage. Christmas needs more shenanigans.

Anyway, whatever you celebrate, I hope it was with people you like doing things that are fun.

Personally, I'm glad it's all over.
So is Oscar.

Hallelujah! Holy Shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Thursday, December 21, 2017

A.J. and Jenkins vs. The Editor

I got my manuscript back from my editor today.

I had been dreading this critique. Dreading it because it was from someone whose life is writing and words and grammar and all that stuff that I pretend to be good at.

The results were not bad, but they were also not good. There's a good story in there, the characters are likable, the dialogue is top notch, and the over all premise is really promising. But, there are also...issues. Things that don't make sense. Things that are technical no-no's. Things that are just cliche and beyond belief. Yeeesh. Ouch. Blarg.

It was a lot to take in.

It was maybe too much to take in.

Seeing critical comment after critical comment is hard. I tried to channel my inner professional and take it in stride. Then, I remembered that I'm not a professional, and cried into a glass of whiskey while I watched Bob's Burgers, wondering what the hell am I even doing thinking I can do this.

Then my husband handed me one of my Christmas gifts.

It was a copy of my favorite book, by my favorite author.

And inside was just what I needed to see right now.

Angie, finishing your first book is no small task-- you should be proud of yourself.
Keep it up, never stop believing in yourself!
Peter Clines
Best gift ever.

Editors are a necessary evil. I would rather Will tear my work up now while I still have a chance to correct it, than some asshole on Amazon (not saying that won't happen but it's Will's job to do it.) 

So the next step is to take all the suggestions and arrange them chapter by chapter and start fixing the problems. 

This is what writing is. This is how it works. This is how a good book becomes a great book and a great book becomes fucking awesome. It sucks having one's flaws pointed out, and I may sulk and even cry about it, but I will take it and learn from it. 

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Where Have You Been, Jenkins?

Wow, so I haven't updated in a bit. It took a lot less time for me to say eff you to my proposed schedule of updating twice a week than I expected.  That said, I have good reason. I've been busy. Last weekend the kid people spent the weekend with their grandparents while the husband person and I got to be adults (in the fun way!) for a couple of days.

That means we went Christmas shopping and drank a lot.
Here's AJ modeling a pale ale that tasted strangely like pineapples.

It was pretty amazing. Batesville may not have much to do, but the bar at Little Charlie's is always a good time. ...Also I tried a burger with a fried egg on it and I just have to say, that is the only way I ever want to eat a burger from now on. 

Anyway, I'm still here. I'm still working on rewrites and edits... slowly, but surely. Between the day job, the family.....aaaaaand the fact there's a new Five Nights at Freddy's game out, there just aren't enough hours in the day. I tried to do editing tonight when the husband left for the gym and do you know how much I got accomplished? 3 paragraphs. 3. Because my children don't sleep. They just don't. And every time I start working it's "Maaaaaammmmm I want a juice", "Maaaaammm, I have to pee,", "Maaaaaaaammmm there are killer animatronics in my closet..." Jeeeeeezeussssssss!

So yes. This is my life.