Monday is writing night. As such, I was supposed to spend this evening working on my edits of Tales of Fort Thomas. But earlier today I lost my temper and now I'm exhausted and I don't think working on my book is a good idea.
It's been a long time since I've lost my temper. And, to my credit, I was fully aware of it as it happened. Basically, spelling practice with my son was, once again, a complete disaster. I managed to keep it together until my husband got home then proceeded to lose my shit at him. Note, I said "At him" not "On him." I needed a body to intercept my emotions and he was it.
Now, back in the day when I had an emotional shit show like that, I'd just call my friend Wendy and be all, "Hey, I might murder someone unless we go to Yogi's." And we went to Yogi's where we'd drink and eat various fried foods until about 1 AM and we'd talk our problems to death. We'd stumble back to our apartments, pass out, and wake up the next day feeling better...albeit hungover.
These days, I and my friends all have gross, grown up responsibilities and suddenly "Meet me at the bar before I'm in jail for homicide." is likely to be met with "Okay, but I can only get away for an hour." And truth be told, I'm in that same boat. So, when Ben was all, "Do you need to call someone and have a margarita?" my first thought was, "Yes! But me and my friends are all grown ups now and we have families, and shit to do! We need at least three days notice before stuff like this!"
So, you know what I did instead?
I stood up, tears still on my face. I looked at Ben and said the only thing I could think of at the moment, "We're having tikka masala for dinner!" Then, I got in my car. I didn't even listen to any angry music. I put on goddamned K-pop (because BTS and Ateez are my jams at them moment). I didn't go to a bar or any place like that. I went to Kroger, and in my fury I bought a house plant. Not booze or chocolate or anything like that. A fucking house plant.
I am physically unable to get angry like I used to, and I guess that's a good thing... but rage-buying a house plant does leave a bit to be desired.
Anyway, her name is Bronwyn and she's my new baby.